cleveland survival lesson #1: learn to love sports

So on our way out of the AC/DC concert, a bunch of people started chanting something and it scared the bejesus out of me.  I felt as though I was in the movie "300" amidst the fray of Spartan soldiers in their little leather fightin' undies. Anyway, I listened closer and I heard, "O-H...I-O!" I was proud of myself for figuring out that this was a football related outburst.  Sports, especially football is like a religion here.  After living here for a while, I now know that when someone asks a questions about "the game," that I should not reply with "what game?"  I am not a sports person.  I was cut from the field hockey team in high school and played rec. basketball in elementary/middle school managing to score a single basket in 6 seasons.  I think I just liked being on a team.  Growing up in Jersey I was raised in a Yankees/NY Giants household so I was aware that they won championships and what not so I could understand why people liked them.  My only other exposure to sports was living across the street from Fenway Park in college.   My dislike for the Red Sox is based on the fact that their outfield lights kept me up at night and moreover by the nasty, violent fans that would start fist fights in the street.  I was lulled to sleep many-a-night by the sound of beer bottles being broken over someone's head.  

Although sports hold absolutely no allure for me, I marvel at the unwavering dedication Clevelanders have to their sports teams.  It's incredible!  I know that the Indians and The Cavs are good teams in their respective sports and I can understand wanting to rally behind them.  What I don't understand is why anyone goes to a Browns game.  Not only do they not seem to be able to play the game, it's freakin' freezing and the wizard who designed the stadium forgot to put a roof on the damn thing! I was driving out to the east side a few weeks ago on a Sunday and as I wove through downtown, I was surrounded by a gazillion Browns fans all bundled up making their way to the stadium. IT WAS 9 DEGREES OUTSIDE!!!  I mean that is real love.  Still not able to understand what it is about the Browns that keeps people coming back for more, I asked my cousin (a huge Browns fan) why he loved the team so much even though they are so bad.  He gave a very poignant answer.  He said, "For me, loving the Browns is like what I imagine being a parent is like.  When your kid messes up you don't hate them, you're just very disappointed.  That's how I feel about the Brownies.  I can't get mad at them, just disappointed."  That's all the explanation I needed.