i ain't no queen! shooooooot!

So I have huge feet. No Seriously, if you slapped a pair of bindings where my ankles are you'd have a sweet pair of downhills. Unfortunately for me, big feet = small shoe selection. Just because I have huge stompers doesn't mean I have no fashion sense (aka navy pumps aren't going to cut it). I want want to wear the same things as the girls with the size 8s. I remember one time in college I needed a pair of heels for a wedding and I went in to a store and asked if they had my size and the sales girl said, "Oh, sure, we outfit drag queens here." H U M I L I A T I N G. Now, I have a bunch of weddings coming up and am shopping on ebay for some cute pairs and 90% of the shoes in my size have: "stripper," "drag queen," or "cross dresser" in the title. I am none of these. Although I must admit I think I have a sassy drag queen living inside of me. Ebay leaves me with slim pickens; it's either red vinyl thigh-high boots or clear, plastic platform slides. Somehow, neither of these seem appropriate to wear while doing the electric slide next to my grandma. I hope your feet are smaller Cleveland!



What I look like on the Inside




The only tip I need is where to find shoes that fit