every winter i get a good case of "the sniffles." you know, stuffy nose, sinus problems the usual. well, two days ago i was i was pimped slapped with an ugly dose of the stomach flu and there is no end in sight. not only have i been giving linda blair-esque performances in the bathroom, i've been fighting a fever and since i can't keep any food (or liquids) down and therefore feel so weak and have no energy to fight this evil cold. it won't be long now...
may i serve as a cautionary tale to one and all! stay healthy by washing your hands, slamming emergen-c back like it's shots of vodka and definitely curb the make-out sessions - just until the spring.
bedside view. yummy.
if anyone knows the miracle cure to this craptastic illness please leave it in the comments below, otherwise just kind words of remembrance. "she was an honest girl..."
Believe in yourself, drink your school, stay in drugs, and don't do milk. -Mr. T
ReplyDeleteeulogies should best be the job of the made of honor in waiting..whichever comes first i'm on deck..and even if my shaky forgetful stage fright words make no sense and i get booed and tomatoed for my sad performance of reflecting on such a remarkable and upstanding individual of our time..at least i know it doesn't matter to you if i make sense to them..probably only that i shared the one story that matters most. the story of us in one long run on sentence. ie> bus bam bam cry are you okay pretzels ice tea matlock spit fights break ups and getting back togethers like a godamn lesbian couple with too much estrogen and testosterone combined...and in the spirit of the holiday season (in the case that you should pass) jingle bell jingle bell jingle all the wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
ReplyDeletemind over matter - screw the flu -
ReplyDeletethese three entries combined are the greatest eulogy ever!
ReplyDelete