road rage etiquette: a lesson

I have ever used this here blog to rant about Cleveland drivers, but what happened to me the other day is one of the greatest moments of my life to date.  I was driving to work on I-90 West and was raining like crazy (the "can't see the car in front of you" kind of rain).  As my 10 year old car is literally falling apart, I opted to stay in the right lane so that I wouldn't kill myself and those around me if my treadless tires decided to give in to the slippery road. As I passed an on ramp, I noticed a landscaping truck entering the highway and trying to get over in to my lane as the lane he was in was an "exit only" lane.  Normally, I would move over to allow my fellow road warrior a place, but there was a car directly to my left traveling at exactly my same speed (another pet peeve of mine - you should always be traveling faster than the car to your right).  I look back to my right and the landscaping truck is merging into me and...GIVING ME THE FINGER! 

May I digress for a moment to say that giving the finger is so 90's.  I equate the hand gesture with the Arsenio Hall "woot! woot" hand crank.  When I looked out my passenger side window and saw this guy in a sleeveless  camouflage shirt flipping me the bird I was like, "Really Dude?"  I've been flicked off before, but this time I was hurt and pissed because this guy was blaming me for something that wasn't my fault.  I'm from Jersey; I don't take road rage lightly so I accepted this gentleman's middle digit as the challenge to a duel.  My weapon: the name of his company and phone number emblazoned on his door.  

The chase began.  I don't know that it can really be considered a chase as I slowed down to get his number, he slowed so that I couldn't.  Yep, the wizard realized what he had just done.  After slowing to 55 mph and finally pulling up along side him, I got the number off of his door and dialed.  Here is the conversation:

Wizard: "Yeah"

Me:  "Hi is this (company name)?" 

Wizard: "Yeah. Is this the girl in the Jersey truck?" (other wizard laughing in 

the background)

Me: (Laughing) "Indeed it is."

Wizard: "I was just trying to get over."

Me: "I noticed that and if there wasn't a car on my left, I would have moved over for 

you.  Maybe you should have slowed down."

Wizard:  "Oh, really? I didn't see that."

Me: "Yeah, well then you learned two things today. One: Don't give someone the finger 

when your company's name and phone number is all over your vehicle and two: if you 

mess with a Jersey girl, she's going to retaliate."

Wizard: "Ha! Ok thanks. Have a great day."

                                                Me: "You too."

 I hung up feeling all warm and fuzzy on the inside.  I can't tell you how triumphant I felt after that conversation! I mean, can you imagine how great it would be to know the phone number of every a-hole on the road? It would be amazing! "Excuse me, you cut me off a quarter of a mile back and I just wanted you to know  that's a reckless way to operate your vehicle on the road." Click.  Killing people with kindness is the new middle finger everyone.  Now go out there and use your road manners! 

See? There are times it's less than intelligent to give the finger